Life Isn't About Death. It's About Life.

by Darryl L. Fortson, M.D.

2023! Jesus!!! My college fraternity line brother's ("LB's") mother passed last week. About a week ago, another brother buried his father, as did another of my LB's fathers and a college roommate's dad as well, months ago. Another brother lost his sister late last year. The Dean of Pledgees for my line recently buried his brother. My wife had a cousin of hers pass away in early November, the day after his wife did. They were both around sixty. An older cousin of hers passed earlier this year. My own cousin died a few months shy of his 90th birthday.

Two of my high school classmates died recently, a few days apart. One classmate and friend had a memorial service for his mom two months ago; another one recently buried his 100-year-old aunt. The two of us had contributed to the obituary of a mutual friend's mom months before. Early in the fall, my wife and I angrily waited at a no-show appointment for her aesthetician, only to find later that the women had been shot days prior in the head by her husband, who then killed himself, orphaning their 6-month-old daughter and her nieces that she was raising.

A college classmate of mine drowned in Lake Lanier, Georgia. Another college friend of a friend dropped dead from a heart attack at a restaurant in front of his wife. This friend, in another fraternity from mine, said "he wasn't my just my line brother - he was my brother. We spoke nearly every day." He wasn't yet 60 years of age.

My LB's mother was the final straw. And as I sat in my office at work stifling my bawl so my medical assistant wouldn't hear, I reached out into the "Spiritsphere" to get my question answered, namely, what is the meaning of all this death? What the hell is the meaning of all this saddening, inevitable, and inexorable dying?

I went for a walk in the park to find out. A Hispanic family, apparently consisting of a grandfather, grandmother, daughter and a 6–8-year-old grandson, were playing soccer. Ducks were swimming in the lagoon. Pigeons walked about, cooing. Couples walked side by side. A man rode a bike. I saw a woman alone, literally hugging a tree. As I walked around, I got my answer.

And the answer is this: death has no meaning - no meaning at all. It is as absurd, outrageous, and senseless as it looks to the casual observer and feels to the ones left behind to mourn in its wake. Death is as timely as a broken clock; that is, rarely on time (twice a day) and only by unique circumstance when it is. Since death is meaningless, it is hurtful, because it was brought into existence outside of the deeply intentional purposes of God and without his permission; borne of the actions of a man and a woman made by that very Creator, who listened to the lies of a snake in a garden of the Lord's making. What I realized, seeing all those people doing all those things together with one another and alone with themselves is that it is not death that has meaning, but life. Life has meaning. Life is so meaningful that God Almighty sent His only Son to taste death and defeat its meaninglessness so that all of us could retain the opportunity to know life.

My LB's mother struggled health wise for several years. She was hospitalized many times, but she kept fighting. She hung in there, and her son with her. He didn't write her off. She, and her prayers, had been there for him during an immensely trying time for him a few years back as well. She was also there when he had a recent health scare of his own. Her life bore witness to God's mercy and love, and her son's life bore witness to the devotion of a son to his mother. My LB whose dad passed away spent many an hour on the road between Alabama and North Carolina to care for his parents, another example of that same devotion of a child for his parent. My Dean and my LBs were there for one another in the midst of their respective mourning - a testament to authentic friendship. The college men who died young and suddenly were well respected. Even in the midst of the aesthetician's murder, we can thank God her infant daughter was spared. Everybody kept on living - my wife's kin, my friends, our acquaintances, and me, even when everyone kept on dying. Everywhere death showed up, life showed up as well, and revealed itself as superior. We should be grateful for that.

So to my wife, and her cousins, Charlie and Ebony, and to "Jim Dandy's" family; to my relatives of the Williams and Hodges family; to Grease, Silk, Luther, Mel, D. Floyd, and Len; to "RonnieMo" and Buddy's family, and to Tracey's; to Maddie's daughter and the rest of her kin; to my high school classmates and the families of the classmates lost, and to my classmate Kelly, who lost his mom; to Michelle, Dan, and David; and to 100-year-old Aunt Mildred's nephew, Steve - I say live in the year 2024, and beyond, and give God every single, solitary ounce of the glory and praise - every day.

"Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, 'I find no pleasure in them.'"

...Remember him—before the silver cord is severed, and the golden bowl is broken; before the pitcher is shattered at the spring, and the wheel broken at the well, and the dust returns to the ground it came from, and the spirit returns to God who gave it. 'Meaningless! Meaningless!' says the Teacher. 'Everything is meaningless!'

...Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind." - Book of Ecclesiastes 12: 1, 6-8, 13

Happy New Year! Be happy and grateful for life. And keep living it - in love for God, for yourself, and for one another. :)